Don’t Forget to Stop and Smell the Cotton Candy

Don’t Forget to Stop and Smell the Cotton Candy

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It’s finally starting to feel like summer. Well, that’s depending on the day if you live in Michigan, but I will say it feels nice to finally shed my coat, and in my case, more than a couple of inches off my hair this past Friday. And although the season change isn’t official until June 21st, Memorial Day marks the start of vacation season for most of us.

Or so we hope.

In my case, I am coming up on my ten-year anniversary as an author in less than 2 months. Not only that, but July just so happens to be the same month I plan to launch my second independent project, “Paradise & Promises: An End to the Fast Life,” so you know that deadline is something serious. The pressure is mounting. I can feel it. And it is so exciting and terrifying all at once.

In the meantime, promo is picking up and more modeling opportunities seem to be rolling in, which I am always grateful for. And even though I’ve always felt a need to deliver, this past weekend made me realize I’ve been so busy fighting this burnt out feeling lately, I haven’t put in much effort into fixing it. Even as I type this I have emails to answer and calls to make. I can tell you now my sleep schedule has been shit and I have the bags to prove it. Every time I looked at my manuscript, my creativity would stall out after just a few words. Despite all the ideas swirling in my head on a daily basis, I hadn’t touched my blog in at least a month. With everything I have to do this summer, I realized I had to check my inner workaholic if I had any chance of enjoying my holiday away from my computer. Because as crazy as it sounds; in order for me to keep being productive, I needed to take a break.

And I am so glad that I did.

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For me, there is just something so nostalgic about summer carnivals so any chance I get I have to go. Growing up poor in Reading, Pennsylvania meant that it was probably one of the most exciting things I’d do all summer. If you know anything about my hometown then it’s easy to understand why I felt that way and if you grew up in a single-parent home then it wouldn’t be hard to understand why that was. Even to this day, my summer almost doesn’t feel complete without at least one visit.

There is just something about the smell of French fries and funnel cakes floating through the air that makes me lick my lips just writing this. Isn’t it funny how you’re surrounded by screams and laughter, yet you tend to tune out because you’re too busy doing the same thing? Back then I was lucky if I won a goldfish, and even luckier if it lived a week, so it’s probably best that all I won this time around was a stuffed emoji face (lol).

When I was little, I was so hyped up on sugar I didn’t realize how high the Ferris wheel was, but I do now (P.S. I don’t do heights y’all). And yes, getting my face painted is still mandatory. I don’t care if I am 28.

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Black & White Beginnings

Black & White Beginnings

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Photography by Christian Davis

For as long as I have been an author, I’ve had people on my head about a blog. I mean, we’re talking yearssss. And while I dabbled with the idea back in 2013-2014, my own motivation and inspiration quickly died out not long after I launched 16dreams. It was apparent that I was writing more for others than for myself and was way more concerned with their thoughts or reception – at least to me anyway. As a writer, I felt so constricted, like I was still trying to fit my ideas into a theme I had since outgrown.

But this blog? This blog here is different. I will tell you upfront I am not a big fan of censorship and I rarely care enough to lie so brace yourself for some real shit. I’m wordy so I will warn you now that most posts will probably be pretty long. But the idea of “For My Misses” actually stems from my social media handle @callmemisscarta. I came up with that name given the fact that I actually had my peers addressing me as “Miss Carta” back in high school – and I still do. Plus, we all know us millennials don’t just go around using “sir” and “miss” on a regular basis so I felt like that title was given out of respect and that was something I wanted to share with others, especially other women.

And for the sake of pure honesty, I was also partially inspired by Drunken Master’s “50 Playas Deep” (True Story) lol. So you can probably tell I can get a little hood with it at times, but if this is not proof that inspiration can be found in some of the most unexpected places then I don’t know what is!

That is also part of the reason why when I did finally decided to give blogging another try, I said I would wait until I dropped book #4 so I could give myself enough time to put it together exactly how I wanted it. I wanted to make sure I had the perfect title to match my perfect background and plenty of engaging content to kick things off. Part of me wanted to be like all the cool kids with their carefully curated feeds and photos. But then I said fuck all that.

I’m not perfect, no one is. And I don’t plan to mislead you with a blog of deep quotes and shallow entries to fake you out. I refused to be boxed in – let alone by my own damn blog. There is no topic off limits just like there is no set schedule to my posts. The less rules the better. I mean, it’s already hard enough to define yourself as just this one thing without limiting your opportunities, and I think this struggle applies to most women regardless of what we look like or where we are from. Our moods change by the minute. Our styles change with the seasons. Our interests change with age. So it only makes sense that we change with them, right?

If you’ve ever read one of my books then you know my main focus is romance, but when it came to blogging I knew I had to get out of this “me, me, me” mentality and create something more inclusive and relatable. So while I hope this blog can serve as a reflection of me and my thoughts – however that looks or feels at that time – I also see this as a way to open the door for deeper dialogue on some of the similar issues or experiences we share. Even if it’s a simple head nod in agreement. It’s always nice to be reminded you’re not alone.

I must admit this whole blog thing is still pretty new to me and I’m not sure where it will lead. All I really know is I needed to find a way to unleash any and everything I’ve been holding in without social media getting in the way and I know I can’t be the only one. This year I’ve been wrestling with an unbearable urge to use my voice outside of Facebook coupled with the desire to express some of my deepest thoughts in ways Twitter won’t allow. Now I can finally say I am ready to share my truth beyond the Gram. Just know ain’t no filters here.