#formymisses On The Up and Up: Do You Ever Wish You Could Float Away?

#formymisses On The Up and Up: Do You Ever Wish You Could Float Away?

I am a hustler. And I pride myself on my grind, whether acknowledged or not. My ambition keeps me on the go, and as an author, my mind is always racing just as fast. As a sensitive-ass Pisces, I tend to overthink just about every situation I find myself in whether business or romantic which also doesn’t help. I can admit that in the midst of all this inner-torment, there are times where I have neglected to take care of myself properly, beyond my external appearance.

Ask any author and they will tell you any time they are under deadline their lives practically unravel. I wish I could say I was the exception, but with a release date for my fourth project less than a month away I’m sure you can understand why ya girl is so stressed these days. The day I got a call from fellow-blogger and fashion stylist, Latrice, inviting me out for girl’s night at Inception you know I was down! Her invite came right on time.

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I had seen postings about flotation therapy online, mostly on Instagram, and it definitely peaked my interest; however, the actual experience was even better than I expected! I loved the clean white space and the spa-like feel throughout the building, and I still want one of those fireplace things for my house (lol)! I also found the other services they offered to be interesting, especially the brain training and I look forward to going back and trying everything at least once.

Now I understand the idea of stepping into a small space or an enclosed pod might make some people nervous, but I can assure you, you have nothing to worry about. And if you use your time wisely, you will see how true this can be once your 60-90 minutes is up.

Thousands of pounds of Epsom salts are dissolved to make the water in your tank denser than the Dead Sea so taking a nap on water is surprisingly doable. And to be honest, I’ve never been able to float in a pool or the ocean no matter how hard I tried so to finally be able to float was a special kind of feeling for me. From the moment I laid down, floating was effortless. I didn’t have to fight it. All my muscles were relaxed. At one point I laid there with my hands behind my head and my eyes closed. The water is warm, the air is salty, and a faint light in the corner adds to the calming ambiance. The fact that you’re nude throughout all of this adds an extra element of freedom which is always a plus in my book. I immediately noticed a change in my breathing once I was settled, which became much slower and deeper. Not going to lie though, pressing pause on all my plans, ideas, and desires was kind of hard at first. A few minutes in and I’d finally found my peace and quiet. There were times I even forgot I was in water.

At the end of my hour, I showered off any excess salt under the Vitamin-C infused aromatherapy shower located in my private room which smelled really, really good. I remember joining the rest of my group in the lobby and feeling incredibly refreshed. It is almost like your brain has to adjust after being so relaxed. The best way I can describe the feeling you get afterward is “float brain.” It’s almost like everything feels brand new, including you.

Last Friday was the first time in a long time where I was actually able to give my mind a chance to recharge. The sense of calm I left with lasted for hours, and made sleep that night that much better. I woke up ready to work a Nascar event as Brand Ambassador early the next morning, off 4 hours of sleep, and yet I didn’t feel tired at all.

And while I went home that night feeling calm and relaxed there are so many more benefits to floating. Not only can you deepen your perspective on life, tap into your creativity, and confront those good or bad memories, you can also relieve pain. As your mind enters a deep state of calm, your body cannot help but follow, giving you a chance to reset and realign. There is a list of health benefits for those who suffer from anxiety, depression, insomnia, and high blood pressure just to name a few. The location I visited was called Inception in Farmington Hills, Michigan but you’ll have to check out their website http://inceptionep.com/ for additional services and pricing. And if you don’t live in Michigan, don’t worry there are plenty of health and wellness centers like these springing up all across the country so a quick Google search should steer you in the right direction depending on where you live.

So the next time you are thinking about going to get your hair or your nails done, don’t forget to take care of what matters most – and that is your mental health. Cause as much as I love to walk around with my hair laid or show off my fancy nails, that post-float glow is something that has to be experienced before it can truly be understood.

Who Do You Think You Are?

Who Do You Think You Are?

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” – Steve Jobs

Alright y’all. I have a confession. I’m at this age where “Who Are You?” is still one of life’s hardest questions for me to answer. Just coming up with the little bit of an “About Me” section for this blog was a struggle, and I barely watered my interests down to a paragraph. So many people brand your twenties as time spent “finding yourself,” so with only two years left I figured it was time to make sense of my past, present, and future. I’ve spent years reflecting on the good, the bad, and the ugly in order to uncover the core traits that make me the sensitive thug I am today lol. And while I was looking for direction, I also knew I needed the courage to follow it. Here’s what I found.

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If I remember correctly, my discovery came about randomly one day while scrolling Facebook (of all places, I know). I came across a link asking me to take a “personality test”, and with time to kill, I figured why not? What could it hurt? And believe it or not, it actually helped. Growing up in a culture dominated by materialism and good looks, it is all the more important that we celebrate our personalities, and to also understand that we are much more than our jobs, titles, or responsibilities to others. We often search for things outside of ourselves because we had yet to realize our own worth and abilities, but unless we know who we are now, we will never become the person we are truly meant to be. It’s actually part of the reason I’ve stayed single so long. Not only did I need to take time to rebuild my career and my self-esteem, I refuse to enter into another relationship until I am sure of who I am and what I want.

So you could only imagine my surprise when I found out that my personality type is classified as ENTJ (extraversion, intuition, thinking, judgment) and that only 2% of the general population think the same way I do. That number is even lower for women at just 1%! After reading through each section detailing my strengths and weaknesses, romantic relationships, friendships, parenthood, career paths, and workplace habits, I gained so much understanding over my life. The accuracy was unbelievable. I mean, it was almost like a psychic typed it.

Not to say I was ever lacking in the personality department because that is certainly not the case. I could identify things I did well or could stand to change for quite a while, but the results from my test helped fill in the “why.” When they pretty much summed up everything I already knew to be true about me in the introduction I knew they were on to something. It was like all of a sudden my whole life made sense. Seriously.

They call me “the commander” and for a reason. I own my strengths like being efficient, charismatic, and inspiring, and have come to learn how this can sometimes overwhelm others. I can also admit that some of my weaknesses are my stubbornness, impatience, and the fact I have a hard time processing mushy emotions, which can sometimes make me come off as cold and ruthless, even to those I love (tried to tell y’all I’m a thug).

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Although I will say the one aspect of my life I questioned the longest up until this point were my friendships. I’ve acquired a lot of “friends” out of circumstance, or better yet, convenience, and would later be left questioning why they never lasted. What the hell was wrong with me? After all I was the common denominator so I had to be doing something wrong. Afterwards I was always left feeling like the disposable friend no one really valued, thus was never afraid to lose. I even went out of my way to befriend new people just because. One of the best decisions I’ve made came at the start of this year when I took the pressure off myself to make friends and put more energy into appreciating those already in my circle. Most importantly, I’ve learned that by surrounding myself with other creatives, I am so much happier. So if you want to discuss some deep shit about goals and the universe then holla at me. But don’t waste my time with gossip and bullshit.

Another big part of my life is my work. I put a lot of pressure on myself to succeed, to the point where other people can see it. Aside from my desire to write full-time, my dissatisfaction from working dead-end jobs also stems from my craving for leadership, responsibility, growth and opportunity. I was pegged as a leader at a young age. My earliest memory of my influence stemmed from my 5th grade teacher Mr. Larson pulling me aside while the rest of the class was at recess, and asking me to set an example for the other students since he felt they would follow me.  I can only hope I’ve done a good job.

Curious about your personality type? All you have to do is go to https://www.16personalities.com, answer the questions and don’t forget to share. And while one test might not have all the answers, it can get you closer to it.

Bosses & Brunch

Bosses & Brunch

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Photos 1-3 Courtesy of http://www.goldcashgolddetroit.com

Whether you are half-dead from a hangover, or if you simply woke up feeling fancy and fabulous, I think we can all agree Sundays are practically made for brunching. But if you are rolling out of bed before noon on the weekend then the food better be bomb. I mean, am I right or am I right?

In my never-ending search of good food and good company, I went on my first outing with the Detroit Dining Club this past weekend, and I can definitely say it won’t be my last. If you know me beyond social media, then you know that as skinny as I am, I LOVE food and I have no shame about it. I eat what I want, how much I want, when I feel like it. Diet for who? And for what? Yeah right!

Anyway, another thing I love to do is talk (if you couldn’t tell). I like getting to know new people and finding new ways to network so when I was scrolling Facebook and saw a post that captured damn near everything I loved most about life, you know I was down. I mean, with a name like Gold Cash Gold it’s hard not to be at least a little curious. . .

 

This past Sunday I, along with some of Detroit’s finest entrepreneurs, gathered at this self-described “Hill Country brasserie” to see how they stacked up against the ever-growing competition in the city. One thing I really liked was that GCG is housed in a vintage pawn shop, which only adds to its exclusive, hipster vibe without feeling overcrowded or too loud to hold a decent conversation. A major con for me, was the parking, but once my plate was in front of me I wasn’t even worried about possibly being towed. At Gold Cash Gold, they specialize in New American fare, but even my order of Two Eggs, which came with 2 eggs cooked to my liking, bacon or sausage and crispy potato, was a step up from your typical breakfast spot. My sunny-side-up eggs were cooked perfectly, and I actually had legit pieces of bacon instead of soggy slabs of fat and grease which was greatly appreciated. The potatoes had the perfect balance of flavor and texture. No wonder I ate the whole thing!

However, there was one part of my meal that stole the whole show and that was their Fresh Doughnut! Apparently, the flavor changes by the day, but I was blessed enough to try a Vanilla glaze, with butterscotch filling, and ginger snaps grumbled on top. OMG! After licking off all of the filling that covered my hands when I was done, I came to the conclusion that little fluffy thing was pure crack on a plate. No lie. I would even go so far as to say good food is a lot like good sex. Whenever you get a taste of something that good you still think about it from time to time. And even if you don’t agree, one thing is for sure, at Gold Cash Gold they know how to leave you wanting more.

Feel free to make your own reservations and explore their menu by visiting their website http://www.goldcashgolddetroit.com. If you are in the Detroit area, I hope to see you at our next meet up! Otherwise, I highly encourage any foodies who love to network to seek out something similar in your area or start your own!

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How I Made Rejection My Bitch

How I Made Rejection My Bitch

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Rejection sucks. But I’m sure you don’t need a blog post to tell you that.

Whether you finally got an interview for that great paying job you always wanted, you snagged a big audition you’re praying you land, or you are obsessing over that guy that is just “too busy” to take two seconds out of his life to text/call you back, the sting of rejection is always painful. And I’m speaking from first-hand experience as an author, model, and a woman. Just this past weekend, I was passed over by another major modeling agency (yet again). Over the course of the last three months, I realized the one guy who is always on my mind, clearly never thinks about me. . .

Putting yourself out there can be scary enough, especially when our vulnerability is not padded by a sense of achievement or acceptance. At least not on our timing.  Going for what you want takes a certain level of courage and bravery that may take some time to muster up, so when that risk is not immediately followed by a reward, it easy to see how a sense of failure could take a toll on your confidence. But it doesn’t have to.

When thinking of all the times I’ve been forced to swallow the bitter taste of “not being good enough,” there is one instance that sticks out most in my mind. I was in my early 20’s, and I had been working a dead-end job cashiering at Whole Foods for several years too long. In short, I was miserable waiting on snobby Ann Arborites who could barely be bothered to acknowledge my existence, while at the same, I was dying for the opportunity to write full time.

With my talent, working retail was a special type of torture that seemed to be prolonged by my negotiations with my publisher at the time, Kimani Tru. Per my contract they had first dibs on my next manuscript. Only thing was it took two years of negotiations to tell me they didn’t want it – no exaggeration. I was actually at work when I found out that I’d written a whole new book – like so many had wanted, and all that work, was for nothing. After watching my email like a hawk on a daily basis, it was back to the drawing board. And then, not even five minutes later, I am on my lunch break when I get a call informing me that my agent Mannie Barron, who helped me get my start in the industry, had passed away. It was all so overwhelming. And it all came crashing down on me in a matter of 15 minutes.

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Now, I think most people at this point would have taken this as a sign and left it at that. I could have easily said the author life is not for me and let it go, but my passion for writing would never allow it. It was then I decided to re-write what I had already written, and publish it myself, which was great because it granted me the freedom to create on my own terms. Once I wasn’t trying to fit anyone else’s criteria, I could restructure the story to my liking. However, cutting out the middle man also meant I would have more creative control as well as financial responsibility. I had a lot to learn and it was up to me to teach myself, but I still managed to launch “Love, Lies & Consequences (The Fast Life Sequel)” on my 25th birthday, after a six-year hiatus in an oversaturated industry. Coming back to the game after being gone for so long, and without a major publishing house to back me, let’s just say I had my doubts (lol). Had I listened to them, I wouldn’t be getting ready to launch book number four this summer.

So as much as it hurts, rejection has taught me to be all the more grateful for the opportunity in the first place. And instead of trying to figure out why things didn’t go the way I hoped they would, I simply accepted the outcome. I’ve learned to build off of constructive criticism without critiquing myself as a person and that most of my frustration comes from the fact that I actually do believe in myself and my abilities – not the opposite. Knowing I have what it takes, I figured I could drive myself crazy or I could channel that energy into my success. I could let it stop me or use it as fuel. After all, there is always room for improvement.

Whether it affects my personal or professional life, rejection has taught me there is good to be found in everything – especially new beginnings. So if anything, hearing the word “no” only motivates me to go harder. More promo. More photoshoots. More castings and open calls. My perseverance has no expiration when it comes to things (or people) I really want. I also realized that the more I put my name or face out there the more likely I am to be recognized for my grind later. And in this day and age, you really never know who is watching. In some cases, all it takes is one yes in order to be successful. Just know I’m not going to stop until I get it.