So I am sitting at my desk listening to the rain fall, watching my cursor blink until my eyes burn. It’s the kind of grey Tuesday that pairs perfectly with the overall blah-ness still hanging over my head from the weekend. Today would be the perfect day to spend in bed, because frankly, ya girl is burnt the fuck out.
Thanks to social media, it’s no secret I’ve been going hard to turn my dreams into a reality. I’ve been putting in work 7 days a week for so long I’ve lost count. Between clocking overtime at my whack-ass 9-5, setting up photoshoots, promoting my new book, and working as a brand ambassador on the weekends, my life has room for very little play right now. Like, VERY little. But, in order to be great sacrifices must be made. . .
I’ve always viewed my ambition or my “hustle” as a good thing to have until about two months ago when I went to LA for the first time. And while I enjoyed my time there, I can still remember standing in the middle of my Air bnb on that first day and just feeling like, “Okay. I’m here. I made it. Now what?” Surely, there should be someone I should be calling or somewhere I had to be by a certain time. I felt uneasy and anxious at first, and it had nothing to do with the fact that I just traveled across the country by myself.
I’d just released book number four the day before I flew out. Technically I was on vacation, and I for damn sure earned it, but there I was feeling guilty about not being productive – even if only for a few days. For the first time in a long time I legit had nothing to do, and I didn’t know how to feel about it. What I will tell you though, is the peace I felt on the rooftop as the wind blew through my curls and the sun bronzed my skin was a feeling I hope to recapture next week. Lord knows I needed that.
Not that there is anything wrong with working hard. I just think it’s important to set limits and be selective. Lucky for me, I came home to more interviews and my very first hosting gig, but my time away taught me that I cannot take every opportunity presented to me – even though the do-it-all in me might want to. In order to keep making progress it is important that I take time for myself and rest. Coming home from LA helped me realize I can still find ways to get things done, and that it is okay to give my body/mind the time it needs to catch up.